Thursday, April 30, 2009

How Much Longer....

Until the pain of not having your here - doesn't take my breath away...

Until my daddy doesn't cry almost non stop from missing you...

Until I quit going to the phone to call you - only upon dialing realize you won't answer...

Until seeing something I know you would like - but can't share with you, hearing something I know you would think funny & hear you laugh, smelling something that brings back a memory of a time we shared....

Until seeing "Mother's Day Gifts" in the store won't remind me that I can't get you a gift this year...

Until walking into my "childhood home" & not feeling gut punched because you aren't sitting there in your favorite chair...

Until I no longer feel like I have to be the "strong & encouraging one" for those around me - because I know it is what you would want me to be...

Until I don't cry myself to sleep anymore ...

Until I don't feel like I have to go to the gravesite every Saturday & stand by your grave & cry out for you my precious MOMMA...

How much longer ... How much longer.... How much longer.... UNTIL THIS PAIN GOES AWAY..